With the normalization of “talking stages” and “situationships,” the rules of relationships in society have shifted. There is no longer a cut-and-dry definition of cheating. Now, many types of romantic relationships and cheating exist. Maybe you are unintentionally dating or cheating on someone without even knowing it!
Before a relationship blossoms, one first fights through the talking stage. A talking stage is that precious time when you’re experiencing butterflies while texting that cute person from your class all the time and wondering if they have feelings for you too. This of a relationship, which is usually right before a situationship, is the time when you are getting to know each other and developing feelings without the pressure or commitment of a label. You can enter a talking stage with multiple people, feeling out your connections with others to see if you are compatible to continue dating. If this seems vague and uncertain, then you now know what the talking stage feels like.
What is a situationship, and how does it differ from a relationship? Unlike situationships, relationships generally include established titles and explicit, communicated commitment. According to Jess Carbino, a dating and relationship sociologist, are “romantic relationships that lack commitment and the associated norms and expectations.” A situationship is not necessarily sexual, like a friends-with-benefits relationship is. Situationships are complex relationships that require at least some emotional commitment without responsibility, leaving what exactly counts as “cheating” as an unknown. If there is a lack of commitment, when do you know if you’re cheating? Is cheating even possible in a talking stage?
Well, if you feel like you’re cheating, you probably are. Cheating is as “when a person in a monogamous romantic relationship has an emotional or sexual relationship with someone else without their partner's consent.” There are multiple modes of cheating in today's society because of social media’s expanded access to other individuals. The most common action that is considered cheating is, of course, a physical affair: a physical, sexual act done with another individual that is not your romantic significant other. This is the easiest to identify, as there are explicit physical acts done of your own volition. It must be made clear that rape or sexual assault done to an individual is not cheating. The party did not consent and therefore did not want to “cheat.” There must be intent and consent.
Emotional cheating, or an affair, involves “developing a close, emotional connection with someone other than your partner without fully disclosing the existence of that connection,” according to . This is a difficult method of cheating to identify because of its initiation or disguise as a platonic relationship. If it is a relationship hidden from your partner or involves showing vulnerability to another person you do not share with your partner, it may be emotional cheating.
A subcategory of emotional cheating is carried out online. Online cheating, according to , is “when individuals engage in romantic or sexual conversations, or form emotional connections with someone other than their partner, primarily through digital means.” As our generation primarily interacts online, online cheating may be the most prominent for future generations as well.
Communication is foundational to all relationships and it is your responsibility to communicate your expectations to your partner. A lack of bluntly stated boundaries of friendship and romantic relationships can lead to future misunderstandings and heartache that can easily be avoided. Cheating is a betrayal of another individual and can happen at any “stage,” whether in the talking stage, a situationship or a committed relationship. Your definition of cheating may be vastly different from another’s. If only one party considers your actions cheating, their feelings are valid and should be addressed. If you feel the need to cheat, why are you still in your relationship? Cheating harms both parties; both individuals deserve to be in relationships to which they are the priority and feel dedicated. Effective communication is not something to be feared—it is your friend in navigating today’s social sphere.
The Student Movement is the official student newspaper of 老司机传媒. Opinions expressed in the Student Movement are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, 老司机传媒 or the Seventh-day Adventist church.