“Take care of how you speak to yourself because you are listening.” - Anonymous
The things we tell ourselves have the greatest influence on our well-being. They do one of two things: help or hurt. It’s safe to say that most of us human beings find comfort in negative self-talk, as if insulting the self is a fast-track to growth. We inherently give ourselves permission to uplift and love on others, as long as we neglect to return such love inwardly. This vicious cycle, perhaps our second nature, can often feel unbreakable. But I urge you, don’t lose hope just yet.
Research reveals that “individuals make about 55,000 self-talk utterances each day and 75% of our daily self-talk works against us” (Chopra, 2012). Yes, seventy-five percent! If nothing else, this statistic shows just how responsible we are for our own stagnation. We truly are our greatest enemies. On the contrary, engaging in positive self-talk always works to our benefit. It helps us acknowledge our progress and the areas we’re gifted in as well as hinders comparison (Chopra, 2012). When we compare ourselves to others, we deny ourselves the privilege of celebrating our own unique person. We become so envious of others’ financial or popularity status, appearance, or even personality traits, that we essentially tell God, “You didn’t create me well enough. I need more to be accepted.” Positive self-talk thwarts those lies and uncovers our true, God-given potential, grants vision for the future, and lessens anxiety (Nimawat, 2020). As if things couldn’t get any sweeter, a positive inner dialogue also reminds you that it’s okay to tell yourself “good job”. It’s okay to try something new and fail the first few times. It’s okay to be afraid of something unfamiliar. It is okay.
Just like any other skill, controlling one’s internal dialogue takes deliberate practice. Albert Einstein said that “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which they were created.” In other words, reprogramming your brain to think positively takes great effort and a higher level of thinking than used to create negative patterns. You must, first, be conscious of the things you tell yourself on a daily basis, scientifically known as meta-cognition and further described as “intentional, conscious, foresighted, purposeful, and directed at accomplishing a goal or outcome” (Chopra, 2012). As a negative thought manifests, you must deliberately capture it, and lay it beneath the magnifying glass of God’s truth about you. Practically, this can mean writing down Biblical affirmations on sticky notes or even set as reminders in your phone. It means waking up and making the first words of your day empowering, beneficial ones.
If consciously repeated daily, affirmations like “I am patient,” “I have everything I need for the season I am in,” ”I am fruitful,” “I have an indescribable peace,” and “I am walking in God’s path for me,” will manifest themselves to be true. I have, personally, incorporated this practice into my own life, and believe me when I say, God knew what He was talking about in Proverbs 12:18, “the tongue of the wise brings healing”, and again in Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” I’ve found that reciting things like “I am selfless” and “I am generous” has allowed me to see opportunities in my day where I can do something selfless for the people in my life, especially my own family while I’m currently at home. I have begun to align my behaviour with the Biblical affirmations I speak every day and I am also so much happier because of it!
Consider that “believing in yourself” just isn’t enough, my friend. Merely “trying harder” to suppress your negative thoughts is simply unwise and quite frankly, impossible. The only way to break a habit is to create a new one. This world offers us countless outlets of negativity, paired with our own internal battles, that we are incapable of optimism without receiving power from the Good Source, Himself. If you think you can cultivate positivity all on your own, your cycle of negative self-talk says otherwise. With this Truth in mind, stop feeding off of who you think you are or what your feelings would like you to believe, and instead, internalize the words of the One who holds your blueprint. After all, who knows a product better than its creator?
References
Chopra, K. (2012). Impact of positive self-talk. University of Lethbridge.
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Nimawat, M. (2020). Mental Health Benefits Of Positive Self Talk. Calm Sage.
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